- 1). Ask yourself, "What is it about this particular situation that interferes with my daily happiness?" This can help you determine why the issue bothers you so strongly. Pinpoint specifics about the issue and how it relates to your own personal life. For example, if your current spouse or partner's previous relationship is bothering you, examine the state of your own relationship. You may be idealizing the prior relationship or unhappy in your current state and looking for an outlet to vent.
- 2). Talk to a trusted friend, family member or therapist about your feelings regarding the issues. You can benefit from an objective outside opinion in many cases. This can help you look at the issues from a different viewpoint, which will assist you in letting go.
- 3). Allow yourself time to ruminate on the issues each day, but decrease the amount of time you spend thinking about them. You can set a timer for 15 minutes, then decrease it to ten minutes several days later and so on, until you are able to stop worrying about these issues on a daily basis.
- 4). Think about how the issues are impacting your daily living and interactions with other people. Fights, broken friendships and isolation are all negative effects of holding onto issues. Tell yourself that letting go of these issues means living a positive life.
- 5). Remember you can't control or change the past. Remind yourself of that fact on a daily or even hourly basis. Focusing on the present day and what you can control will help you let go of past issues.
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