It has occurred to me that most guys do not realize when they are committing the worst cardinal sin of relationships. It is something so bad that some women rate it right up there with cheating. Yes, there is something that is AS bad. Some women can even forgive you for cheating easier than for this.
So what is this awful cardinal sin?
The worst thing a guy can do is not listen to his wife/girlfriend.........period.
Nothing makes a female angrier than being ignored. We don't like it when you don't understand us, but when you just plain don't listen....well, that means you are not even ATTEMPTING to understand us.
We understand that things in your brains do not work like things in our brains, and we are okay with that. If you were just like us, then we wouldn't want you anyway.
However, when you do not listen to us the message you are sending to us is this: You are not important enough for me to waste my attention on. OUCH!!
Now, you probably did not consciously think that, and you didn't mean to send that message at all. However, you need to understand that in the give and take of relationships, this is the part where you give. You give your time and attention to us because we are the most important thing in your lives. And sometimes you put yourself out and do things that inconvenience you for the people you love.
As for the guy's side of things, I understand that some women can be overly demanding of your time and attention. Most women truly do not realize when they are doing this. If you are in one of those situations, then sit down and have an honest talk with your girl. Most women are amazingly reasonable when they have their guy's undivided attention.
So here's how you show her how much you really care:
Take 20 minutes out of each day and dedicate it to your girl. This can be when you first get home from work, right before bed, or any other time that's convenient for you. But you need to make it the SAME TIME EVERY DAY. This is important because you need to make it a habit that you do everyday (like brushing your teeth). If you do not do it at the same time each day, then you will begin to skip days and the whole plan will go down the drain.
Now, what are you going to do with this 20 minutes? You are going to get something to drink and then sit down and spend quality time with your girl. Let her tell you about her day and actually LISTEN to her. Don't think about what's on television or what you will do when she's finished. Then you can tell her about your day. Use this time to really connect. You will find yourself looking forward to this intimate time as much as her.
So many guys think of women as chattering on about nothing and think it's okay just to tune them out. But think about this. She wants to tell you about her day because she wants you to be a part of her life. She shares with you because you are important to her. When she STOPS sharing with you, then you are NO LONGER important to her. THEN YOU ARE IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE!!!
When she's not interested in sharing her ups and downs with you - buddy, she's not interested in YOU!!!
You are also probably thinking that twenty minutes a day couldn't possibly make that much of a difference. But take it from another girl who knows. If you sit her down and explain your plan to her, she will be ecstatic! You will get points just for wanting to do it. Then when you start using this time wisely- well, you will usually find that she saves her "chatter" for the twenty minutes that she knows she has your undivided attention. After all, her whole goal is for you to listen, so she is less likely to waste her energy until she knows you are listening.
Twenty minutes a day will make a bigger impact than you could ever imagine. Try it now and you will see what I mean. Remember, she wants to be treated like a princess. You want to be her hero. This accomplishes both things at once.
If you are suffering from a break up and want to win your love back, please visit The Magic of Making Up for a step by step plan to get her back.