Why You Need a Sex Agreement - Things to Consider in Our Modern Age and Current Stage

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When you have a Sex Agreement or contract, it really can border on the uncomfortable. It doesn't have to, but in the beginning, it does. Here you are sitting at a kitchen table or a desk somewhere TALKING and writing on paper about something that is full of pleasure, passion, and titillation. But a really important thing to realize is that once you start this process of negotiation, it feels more like purchasing a house or getting a corporate job. But when you get involved in the creative and consulting/type practice; you start to get comfortable. The best thing about that is when you reach a negotiation, or climb a hurdle in the relationship, you can than simply have sex to celebrate! Just as in the BDSM realm, the sex contract can also make the participants aware of their limits.

There are a lot of pre disposed ideas of the sex contract in which only a married couple is pictured using them. It is kind of true in essence that a lot of married couples was where the sex contract began; to establish frequency of sex. The busy lifestyle, the chaos of children, and the general state of the economy can make somebody so worrisome that they don't have sex. Here is our opinion: even if you are having a rough patch in the relationship, you can use the sex contract to get some physical contact and sex. If weird stuff is going on in the relationship where you are starting to resent each other, it is very, very important to have sex. Because even if that weirdness cultivates; you can only resent someone so long after you have had sex. The sex contract is created to initially draw up rules for a couple to make sure they have sex within the bounds of their schedule. When people start to drift apart, having sex on set days gets you into the ritual of being close physically; perhaps salvaging the relationship.

There is a period in a many modern couple's lives where they are out of the bar and partying scene, but especially these days, may not have chosen to have children yet. They both may be having desires to have children, but know they have to get their finances in a bit more order. It does seem that having a contract is a bridge in sexual relationships is a way to solidify things to the next level, yet still provides a bit of a way out. In today's modern and chaotic world, many things can change at the drop of a hat. It is said that even years ago was a €now€ generation, in which we are only truly stimulated by what is in front of us at that very second. This affects relationships and marriages. It is SO easy to have an affair, SO easy to not feel guilty about it, and for both sexes to just take what is in front of them, lie about it, but still want the stability of their relationship. Many people are so influenced by movies and television that they emulate the singles they see there and just change partners like they would change socks.

On the brighter side of things, there are sex agreements out there in which you ask each other questions that must be answered honestly. These lead to initial pain, but the communication level improved greatly. Some fundamental questions in these agreements that you ask each other look like this: what are things you would like me to do more? What are things have I done too much? Do you ever feel taken for granted? How is money affecting the relationship? These questions are not part of the standard sex contract, but rather a spinoff/ and or relationship improvement issues. Some people will be taken aback at first, but after answering these, you can fix so much. Even if there is a bit of a €cool down€ time needed after discussion, resolving things can feel so much better than keeping them inside. If you try to do this drunk or if you are a little angry, it's probably not going to work.

The thing about the modern sex agreement is that you may not realize how many couples actually have them. And when they do sit down to create them, sometimes it is very quick; such as, €We are just going to put this on the refrigerator as a reminder to us; so we know to have sex more frequently€. They weren't really thinking that they did up some elaborate contract; but in essence it is a solid reminder of what needs to be done and when. A lot of younger people dating even have contracts involving multiple partners and jealousy. There actually are those people in this day and age that can have multiple partners and not feel much guilt. And so some contracts spell out how often they may go home with someone else; and whether or not it will even be disclosed to the other partner. There is a lot more to healthy sex than just a piece of paper; communication, stimulation, ideas, different positions, and sexual health. The contract is an important clog in the wheel, however; if you choose to use it. Sometimes it's nice to have a document to spell out what is going to happen. So, we hope you are ready because today is one of the sex days, it's time to bend her over and go to town!
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