Men and women are social animals.
We need each other.
When we are alone, without a partner, we often feel lonely and unhappy.
When we do not have a partner, we tend to notice all the "lucky" people, walking hand-in-hand or hugging, snuggling and smooching in public.
We are bombarded with magazines of beautiful people who appear to enjoy an endless series of lusty, joyful, and intimate relationships.
Finally, if we get "lucky," we find a partner to love and share our life with.
We feel excited, sensual, exhilarated, happy, even ecstatic.
But if we stay together, after some period of time (weeks, months, years), desire may dissipate as that excited, exhilarated feeling turns to boredom and disinterest.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Being in a long-term relationship can be just as exciting as the way you feel with a person you are just getting to know.
Schmuley Boteach, Rabbi and Author of an unusual book about monogamous, committed relationships, Kosher Adultery, teaches us that intimacy is not what we thought it was.
Intimacy is not only about making sure our partner feels safe, secure and loved.
It is not only about communicating openly.
Intimacy is an art, a seductive art, requiring skills that most of us have never learned.
In order to create lasting intimacy, we must, from time to time, introduce a bit of confusion, insecurity, unpredictability, and even mystery.
If our partner begins to feel too comfortable, even complacent, that is a good time to become temporarily unavailable, to appear to be excited about something you are not sharing, or to drop hints about the man or woman at the office or supermarket who showed an interest in you.
The goal is to continually reinforce in your partner's mind (no matter how long you have been together) that you are a sexy, sexual, sought after man or woman.
If you are currently involved in a relationship that seems to have lost its spark, don't give up.
As long as there once was a spark, very often it can be rekindled.
Follow these few simple steps.
*Take a good look at yourself - how you look, how you feel, how you have been behaving *Immediately change your outward appearance.
If you have been dressing casually, start wearing more formal clothing, either business suits or cocktail attire.
If you have been dressing formally, remove the tie or change from a skirt to jeans.
*Observe your thoughts and words.
Catch yourself thinking or talking with enthusiasm and positive energy.
*Watch romantic movies.
Read romance novels.
Study the art of seduction.
*If nothing seems to be working to change your outlook or your situation, seek help, go for therapy, talk about your life.
Reinvent your life.
If Arnold Schwarzennager can go from body builder to famous actor to Governor of California, what can you do in your small sphere of influence?