You can get an erection when the wind blows.
Or when the automatic sprinkler comes on.
Or in the middle of the night, when you AREN'T dreaming about Pamela Anderson's breasts.
Well, women aren't wired that way.
Think of it like this: Men are microwave ovens.
Women are crockpots.
Men have an "instant on" (or "up") button.
Women need to have 1) time and 2) the right kind of touching and attention paid to them and their bodies in order to get worked up enough to where they want to feel you inside them.
If you want to warm a Cougar up, set the mood.
Women typically like making love in the dark with candle light.
Why? Well, everyone looks better in candle light.
Plus, the pupils dilate and that is a signal in the animal kingdom that triggers the brain into amour.
A nicely scented candle or two tempts our sense of smell, which is more heightened in women than men.
Soft, romantic music, a bubble bath that you have made for us, softly drying us off as we exit the tub, seductively brushing our hair, gentle kisses on the backs of our necks...
Are you getting the picture here? Now, as a matter of fact, many women find it difficult to obtain an orgasm during intercourse.
When you consider that an orgasm is a series of muscle contractions that are gradually built up in a woman until she spasms with delightful waves of pleasure.
(OMG I promised myself I would not make this article sound like some cheesy paper back romance novel) Then it helps to understand how the whole process works.
One of the first things you gotta do is give her enough time to get aroused and lubricated.
No, you can't just slather some K-Y lube down there and dive in.
Her vaginal muscles will not be ready to receive you and you'll get a quick kick in the you know what's.
(By the way, do not use any petroleum based products as a personal lubricant.
They are not water soluble and can cause an infection, so no Vaseline.
) Start out with a light touch without tickling her.
Massage her gently and slowly so she begins to relax and feel comfortable with your touch.
Pay attention to any feedback she may be giving you.
Good signs are: smiling, moaning, seductive writhing.
Bad signs are: moving your hands away from the area you are focusing on, slapping your hands, jumping up and running out of the room.
Gently and seductively kissing will score you big points toward lubrication and getting her aroused so that she will want to have you inside her.
The key here is not to drool, drown or do that "snake dance thing" with your tongue.
Slowly and gently probe her mouth with your tongue, entering slowly.
Resist the temptation to plunge your tongue down her throat.
If she wants more, she'll respond in a way that will let you know to go deeper.
Pay attention to her breathing.
The more pronounced and rushed it gets, the more turned on she is becoming.
If she is naked (lucky you) gently start to caress the sides of her breasts.
Do not rub in manic, senseless circles.
Learn the art of caressing a woman's body.
Practice on your pillow.
A person can tell if he/she is being touched with a sense of romance and integrity, or whether he/she is being mindlessly mangled.
Work your way to her areola area (the round pink area surrounding the nipple.
) If her nipples are erect, signaling excitation (sometimes it just means we are cold), then circle around it with your finger or tongue.
Again, build in some "response time" of a few moments so that her brain and body get in synch and registers that she is experiencing pleasure.
If you just keep doing the same thing repetitively with no letting up, we'll get bored, raw and annoyed.
This is a crucial element.
If this concept confuses you, let me know and I'll elaborate.
When she is sufficiently aroused, she will let you know.
She will begin to push her hips, pubic area closer to your body.
She may start to rub against you.
It is very important that you DO NOT reach down and stick your finger inside her like it is a dip stick checking a fluid level.
This will remind her of getting a pap smear from her gynecologist and can be a real mood and deal killer.
Instead, you may want to put your hand or a few fingers gently on top of her pubic area and rub in a slow, circular motion and allow her to guide your hand where she wants it to go.
Pay attention again to her breathing, moaning and other physical signs to you that you are doing okay.
If she's a talker, she may be giving you verbal feedback and instruction.
But remember: all women are different.
What works with one may not work with another.
So every time you make love with a woman, it is important that you learn what her body responds to.
Don't fall into a pattern of a One Way Love Making Style Suits All.
Now she is aroused, lubricated, pulling you toward her and letting you know how much she wants you.
Congratulations! You have become a master at foreplay.