Psychiatrists are always coming up with new diseases and new drugs to treat them but I've beat them to the punch on these! Through personal observation and experience I've located many new syndromes that need labeling and, most of all, they need cures.
Take, for example, my favorite, HBP, "home-business phobia.
" This apparently occurs when the subject has clicked upon a certain number of replicated sites which promised him great wealth for nothing in return.
Having nervously given out his credit card information one too many times, he now suffers from a peculiar obsession of must click/must not click.
He can be seen to freeze at the appearance of an enthusiastic video or brightly colored display.
He utters obscene statements or locks up mentally at the sound of promises that this is his path to financial freedom.
He can be seen glancing from side to side ensuring no one spots him likes his wife or other responsible person knowing they would decide for him with a loud "Shut that off right now!" Another is a cousin to manic-depressive which I've dubbed "Manic Retention Syndrome.
" The symptoms include a euphoria as the customer base grows interspersed with a solemn depression during rejection.
The subject, having increased enrollments and income, can be seen doing a dance, cheering or singing a ditty.
Later, however, he is found sulking and brooding at a failed order or drop out.
These symptoms magnify when there are fewer participants but are mild when the participants number in the hundreds to thousands.
A sad one is SFHD or "Surfing For Hits Denial.
" Not much different than the nickel and quarter slot machine users, the SFHD case becomes obsessive in gaining bonus points and double credits.
But this one would seem like utter dedication when compared to someone suffering from MBP or "Multiple Business Personality.
" In this case, the subject jumps from one opportunity to another, unable to focus on any one business at a time.
With abandoned promiscuity, he or she leaps from one promising deal to another.
The one I once suffered from, as did many of my friends, is a cousin of ADD but is known as BDD or "Back Door Deficiency.
" This is a disease of an electronic nature and is most pronounced when a marketing campaign looks terrific, gets an excellent response only to discover the website was suspended due to some infraction or the url was wrong or the autoresponder wasn't hooked up correctly.
The 18,000 hits resulted in no conversions.
In this case, the subject can be seen walking around aimlessly, talking to himself or staring at his Google Analytics stats with glazed over, unbelieving eyes.
If you are suffering from any of these unlisted maladies, please do not take drugs.
First one must realize that if so many home business owners are suffering from these seldom-voiced conditions, it qualifies as normal.
You may wish to join a group of like-minded people.
As you stand before them and admit to your affliction -- "Hello, my name is John (or Jane) and I am a home business owner" -- and watch their sympathetic eyes tear up as they applaud your efforts, you may realize that you are not alone.
This article is intended as humor, of course, and I am in no way attempting to diagnose or cure anyone.
Do not call me Dr.
or Madame Currie.
However, the facts are that the attempt to take your income into your own hands while escaping the comfort of the weekly paycheck can be unnerving to say the least.
Relax, there are cures.
Do not for any reason spend more than you can afford.
I know plenty of people who made an excellent income using free or low-cost marketing techniques.
In fact, I'm one of them! 2.
Do not believe for any reason that you are going to get rich using someone else's replicated site.
For lack of a better word, it's a delusion.
You might make some money but you won't get rich.
Jumping from one business to another is going to make money for a lot of people.
It just won't be you or the people you enroll.
Test any marketing campaign by being the "customer" all the way from contact point to point of sale to ensure it is all working.
You can unsubscribe from your own autoresponder once you've made sure it works.
Check every point to be certain it registered correctly on your stats.
If you don't know what I am talking about in #4, you need a system and some more training to support your business.
Find a good business and stick with it.
The big money will take you one to five years to make.
If you can't find a company that you're sure will work out, you need more training so you can spot or start one.
Surfing websites to promote your own business will get you visitor stats but you really need to analyze how many visitors are converting.
If your math is good enough, divide your hours into your income.
You now know you're making...
how much an hour? Bottom line is that free advertising may take longer but it's free.
Most people quit before they make money because their LOSING money.
You can't lose money if you don't spend it.
Once things get started, then you can look at Pay Per Click, Search Engine Optimization and other higher priced services.
Save yourself years of therapy and start having fun with your business.
Realize you're building a home business one brick at a time.
Get something done every day and acknowledge your progress.
Take the money you saved by NOT acting out the above diseases and spend it on yourself.
Customers like happy people.