The Paris Hilton Prison Diet - Overweight Fans Cue Up At Prisons Nationwide

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The craze to be in on every little thing recent jailbird Paris Hilton does reached a new epiphany upon her release from prison - news that she has apparently agreed to author a new book, called The Parish Hilton Prison Diet.
Rumor of the revolutionary diet fad began on the Larry King show when she commented idly, which is her usual mode of communication, that food in the lockup was not very tasty and she could hardly eat it.
An entrepreneur, alert to the copious financial rewards in satisfying the most idiotic demands of the public, approached the unreality starlet with the idea that her culinary experience had the makings of a new fad diet.
It would be easy to put together.
All she would have to do is remember the meals she was accosted with during her imprisonment.
"This diet has everything!" the entrepreneur enthused, "Star power without willpower.
You just read the recipes and lose your appetite.
" Hilton immediately agreed to license her name and jotted down, as best she could recall, the inedible meals she was served during her 23-day stint behind bars.
Distressed that she could only remember what she was served on 21 days, she was consoled by the resourceful entrepreneur, who told her, "Perfect, Paris! 21 days is brilliant.
We can subtitle it The Revolutionary 3-Week Weight-Loss Program.
" News of the remarkable diet was evidently leaked to the press by Paris Hilton's publicity machine.
But throngs of fans were so eager to live her life vicariously that they were unable to wait for the book and began to show up at prisons across the nation, begging to be imprisoned - but for only 21 days.
Informed by prison officials that they can't be arrested without committing a sufficient offense, they have resorted to jail-time provocations that mimic Hilton's own infractions.
The favored tactic is to pull up to patrol cars, tear up their drivers licenses, and then jump back behind the wheel and speed off.
While annoying the cops, fans pleaded, "Arrest me! Arrest me! Put me on the Paris Hilton Prison Diet!" One fan commented, "I'm really looking forward to the day I get out and look like Paris Hilton.
Maybe I'll even get invited to talk about my time behind bars, and, Larry King, take notice: I'll do it for less than a million dollars.
" Others have gone so far as to have a drink before they attempt to achieve their own arrest, so they can be put in the slammer for the same that resulted in Hilton's probation: DUI.
One wag commented, "I guess in this case, DUI stands for dieting under the influence.
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