When you show that its OK to not be self controlled when you're angry, then they don't think its necessary either.
So it ends up being detrimental to the child, and also your relationship to them in the long term.
Limit their exposure to violence If your child is watching violence on tv or playing violent computer games, then it has a knock on effect on their behaviour.
Why not limit, or stop altogether, their exposure to violence in the media.
Turn the tables, and choose media that encourages love, kindness and respect for others instead.
Watch the effect it has on them, it may take a bit of time for them to get used to it, and may be a struggle to implement.
But it will pay off in the end.
Show your child how to empathize Showing your child the effects their behaviour has on others can be a powerful way of changing their behaviour.
Often children pay little to no attention to the effect their behaviour is having on others.
By talking to them, suggesting things like "how would you feel if your brother hit you like that?", is a really powerful way of them taking ownership of their behaviour.
Demonstrate how to calm down By showing your child how to calm down you give them real valuable life tools to help diffuse their anger which will aid them greatly in the long term.
One great method is to get them to place their hand on their chest whilst taking two deep breath.
You can serve them by acting out that action as a visual cue to remind them to take a step back from the situation, when you see them start to get angry and wound up.
When they see you using that cue, they can take a lead from your action.
Resolve your own anger Its a humbling thing that we model behaviour to our children.
They look to us for the way to behave in life, as the people they look up to and take a cue from.
So if you explode at the smallest thing, then it's likely that your child will do so as well.
Try and find ways to diffuse your anger as soon as possible, not letting it build up, and using ways to express how you feel in a calm and controlled manner.
Think about how you would like your child to deal with their anger, and try and model that to them in the way you deal with anger.
Show how you would apologise for your actions.
They will soon pick it up.