Your Life Story Goes On: Moving on After a Break Up

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You may have tried to fix things, find solutions to the problems in your effort to save the relationship, in vain.
You may be feeling very hurt, cheated, betrayed, abandoned, worthless, unattractive and most of all - alone.
Getting over a break up is never easy - whether its a meaningful, enduring, serious relationship or a casual fling.
And whatever the reason for the separation, the fact remains: you had something that made you feel good, happy, wanted, needed...
and now it's over.
How do you move on, heal? How do you get over a break up? The most important thing you can do for yourself is to first and foremost, accept it.
Holding on to something that's not there anymore just makes it harder to deal with the loss.
Acceptance is your first step towards getting over a break up, and it's a two-step phase.
First, SURRENDER.
Yes, surrender yourself to the reality of the situation and to the sadness that it brings, and do not fight it.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss - of a relationship, the shared experiences, of your hopes and dreams for the future that involved your ex, the loss of support you used to get from him be it emotional, intellectual, social and in some cases, even financial.
Allowing yourself to grieve prepares you to see things that way they really are, which is essential to getting to the next phase...
and that is, ACCEPTANCE.
Accept the situation - wholeheartedly.
As long as there's a part of you that is denying the reality, you will find it harder to deal with it.
The fact is it's over, and you can't and mustn't deny it.
Accept too that from here on, your future will not include him anymore, and that you will be living the rest of your life without him.
Keep in mind that with acceptance comes a concept of approval, and only when you agree with yourself that the relationship is over would you be able to move on to the next step...
...
and that is Self-acceptance.
It is natural to question yourself after a break up.
Did I cause it? Did I do something wrong? Am I not attractive enough anymore? Am I not exciting, not fun to be with anymore? Am simply just not good enough for him? These may be questions you are asking yourself, and the more you dwell on them, the deeper you get yourself into depression.
The mere fact that you may be asking yourself the above questions should tell you that you actually doubt if you're any of the above.
And even if you actually think there's some truth to your self-doubts, then accept it so you can start doing something about it.
Remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE - or at least you shouldn't be.
If joining a support group is just too much, at least always be in the company of family and friends.
Break ups can lead you to believe that without him, you are alone.
You're not, he's just one of the many people that enrich your life, make it exciting and who make you happy.
This may even be the perfect opportunity to renew and reinforce your other relationships in your life: keep in mind that the one with him was just one of many fulfilling relationships in your life.
And lastly, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.
After you've surrendered to the grief, accepted the situation and yourself, and gathered strength and validation that you are not and will never be alone from the other people in your life, it's now time to nurture yourself.
Go for those long walks you've always loved that he hated or eat at that restaurant you've always wanted to try that he wouldn't be caught dead in.
This will help you be at peace with the fact that he is not a part of your life anymore, and there help you on your way to the whole point of it all: ...
and that is, MOVING ON and writing the beautiful story of the rest of your life.
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