One of you wants to save the marriage but the other has either given up or is just done with the relationship altogether, checked out so to speak.
But, this doesn't necessarily mean that your marriage is over or it can't be saved.
You just have to approach it in a different way.
Normally, this is an emotional defensive move or mechanism on your spouses part.
They didn't just wake up one day and decide that it was over.
But it's probably been building up over time and this is an easy way to try and cut emotional attachments they have to you that will keep them from either getting what they want out of the marriage or dealing with the problems in your marriage at all.
Sometimes it's just easier for them to say their done, in hopes that you'll cave in or give them what they want.
Now, unless you've cheated, which is going to mean a whole different "I'm done" with this relationship, your marriage can still be saved.
If one of you have cheated on the other, then it's going to take a whole lot more to save your marriage, especially now that all trust is out the window.
But, if your spouse is playing head games or trying to get what they want out of the marriage by using your fear of them leaving against you, there are a number of ways to turn this around.
This may sound scary or totally against your end goal, but let them go.
You'd be amazed how this change of attitude on your part will affect your spouse.
Suddenly, they're lost for thoughts.
Now, they wonder why you don't care this time or what you have to look forward too on the other side of the fence so to speak.
This can change the whole dynamics of a head game situation, where the power has now shifted in your favor.
Suddenly, your spouse isn't talking about leaving anymore, but rather what they can do to start making things better in the marriage.
If that's not the case, and your spouse is really serious about ending the marriage and not playing head games to get what they want, still let them go.
At this point, it's time to focus on you.
Getting yourself together and working on steps to make staying in the marriage seem more desirable than leaving.
But, you can't do it if you're not letting them go.
If you continue to seem needy or broken, then you'll continue to push your spouse away.
But, if you maintain the illusion that you have now become empowered and are doing things that you may have not been doing before, like taking extra care of yourself, taking off with the guys or girls and just overall not showing how bad this is hurting you, it will get your spouse rethinking their decision.
It will make them see the real ramifications of their decision to do this to you and your marriage.
The point is, your marriage can still be saved if it seems you're the only one that cares about saving it.
But, there are going to be different ways to do it as you can see.
What's important is that you learn a more thorough plan of action on how to do it.
Something that will help you tackle all instances or situations that may arise while you're trying to make your marriage as desirable as it was before, when you first got married.