After a long relationship becoming single can be either a liberating or daunting experience. Once it is over there is a natural tendency to find a new partner, as it is more fun than being on your own. However, there is a right way and wrong way. Before you fling yourself into a whirlwind of dating or making new friends there are a number of measures you should make before taking the plunge.
No Need To Rush
Its probably not a good idea to rush into a new relationship so soon after the last one because you will be carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Research has shown that the success of new romances do not last very long. Give yourself time, your emotional sanity and self - confidence needs to be rebuilt even more so if children are involved.
Time To Reflect
The aftermath of a breakup is a good opportunity to reflect. Think about what exactly went wrong and why. When rushing into a new relationship there is a tendency to do things completely differently so that you do not experience the same pain. However, this can be risky, new relationships try to correct what went wrong in the previous one which can put them on a shaky foundation. A breakup does not necessarily mean things went drastically wrong. If it was a long term relationship there are probably many positive aspects that you can take and build upon for the future. By identifying what did work and what did not you will be better prepared when entering a new relationship.
Find a Friend
Working this out on your own can be difficult. If you have any friends or know someone who has been through a breakup then approach them and find out how they dealt with it. They can provide helpful tips and insights having gone through the same experience and they will have a greater understanding of what you are going through. After a breakup it is important to get in touch with your friends particularly single friends so you can have that emotional heart to heart and support. They are also good at rebuilding your confidence as well as having someone to accompany you to singles parties.
Re-discover Your Passions
Some relationships can inhibit you and a breakup can release those limitations. For example, if you were unable to follow your passions because your ex partners had no interest in them then a breakup provides the opportunity to renew and pursue those passions. This also increases your chances of meeting potential partners with similar interests.
Forget the singles pages, and enroll yourself in a dance class or activities that involve groups with similar interests. By doing this you are expanding your social network which will result in you having more friends, more confidence and more opportunities to find the right partner.