That said, let's look at the steps you can take.
Step #1: Immediately commit yourself to honoring any boundaries she sets
Your ex probably set up a few ‘post breakup' rules. Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you for 3 months or decides the two of you can only hang out in groups. Whatever it is, no matter how painful it may be for you, commit to respecting her choice.
Step #2: Start working on yourself
Did you ex have any criticisms of you that were valid if you allow yourself to consider them? Go ahead and start working to change those things for your own benefit. Maybe you want to join a gym or quit smoking? The time is right.
Step #3: Show off the new and improved you
If there is one thing that will get your exes attention, it will be seeing you out on a date with someone else while showing off the new you. Let her see that you've changed and that you are now the person she always said she wanted…but you might be taken for good!
A little bit of healthy jealousy and competition will get her thinking about you again, and asking herself what she might have missed out on by pushing you away.
Step #4: Make yourself available, then make yourself scarce
You know what they say: ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.' Once you're ex is speaking to you and wanting to spend time with you as friends, you can move in for the kill.
Keep things light and fun like they used to be when the two of you first got together. Give her a taste of this, and then make yourself unpredictably available. Turn her down for a Thursday night movie, then randomly call her on Sunday afternoon to have coffee with you. Be a good listener, make her laugh, then hit the door.
This will drive her crazy with the feeling that she not only wants, but needs to connect with you more.
Step #5: Be ready for another ‘talk'
If your strategy is successful, there will come a time when she can't stand it anymore and will ask if you're willing to have a relationship talk with her. Keep your cool and be willing to have an honest, open discussion with her.
Hopefully, you'll have raised her desire enough to make her want to work things out, even if she has to compromise. Congratulations on winning her back!