Can We Still Be Friends If I'm Trying To Get My Ex Back?

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There is never a situation where breakups are enjoyable to all parties. Most of the time, neither party is genuinely happy about the breakup – no matter how much he or she pretends to be. You'll often hear the one doing the dumping asking if the two of you can still be friends. Most of the time, it's their way of asking you not to be bitter about the breakup. They don't want things to end badly between the two of you.

But, is it possible to really be friends if you're still trying to get your ex back? More importantly, does your ex REALLY want to be friends or is he or she just trying to end things amicably?

Sometimes, there's a third answer there. This is the one you really need to consider carefully before you decide to go the friendship route with your ex. On occasion, your ex will ask to be friends because he or she does value your friendship. It's a method for getting the best of both worlds. Your ex can enjoy the benefits of your ear, your shoulder, and your assistance when needed without paying the price of a commitment to you.

That is when being friends is not working for you. It's also when it's time for you to take a step back and think long and hard about what your next move should be.

Ideally, you would cut off all contact at a time like this – especially if you're still holding out hope that you can get your ex back. Your ex will never really see your value as a partner, friend, and lover if you're still giving him or her the benefit of your friendship, love, and support without receiving anything in return.

Your ex is the undisputed winner in a case like this. Not only is your ex receiving the benefits of all these things from you but he or she is also tying up your time and affections to effectively keep you off the market so that no one else steals you away. It may not even be a conscious decision on the part of your ex but it is something you should keep in mind. You'll never be able to heal as long as you keep opening the same wound day after day in the name of friendship.

But of course, you're wondering how you can possibly get your ex back if you've cut off all contact. Aren't you? The beauty of this plan is its simplicity. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. This is even truer when sincere emotions are felt on both sides of the relationship equation. The truth is that if your ex cares enough for you and the friendship you had to want to continue it after the relationship has ended, there is still some genuine feeling.

When you cut off contact your ex has no choice but to experience life without your support, love, and friendship. It can be a lonely thing for your ex to go through. Most of the time, your ex will eventually give in and make the first move that opens the door to reconciliation.
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