When you first notice that things in your marriage have been slowly declining, it's important that you begin taking steps right away in order to repair it.
Unfortunately, most of us do not have the luxury of knowing that our marriage was ever in trouble in the first place and when our spouse breaks the news to us that the marriage is over in their eyes, this news can put us in absolute shock.
This is where the bulk of our mistakes can take place and can often speed up the undoing of our marriage.
Whether or not the news is news to you at this point is irrelevant.
It's what you begin doing in this small window of time while your marriage is in crisis that is of the most importance.
Recognizing that your chances to do something about saving your marriage are now priority one, if you haven't already.
Also, knowing what to do with the short time you have is also equally important.
The most important thing you can begin doing right now is getting yourself and your emotions in a state where you still have control over your actions and reactions.
Not having control over yourself will lead to disaster when trying to save your marriage.
If you're not carefully tending to what you're about to say or do, then you're just going to create more problems in your marriage.
Not only that, but some of what you let loose so to speak can never be taken back.
I understand you're under a lot of stress and you're hurt.
But, how much more will it hurt to know that if you would have just held your tongue or thought about what would happen before you did this or that, you could have prevented shutting down all communication between you and your spouse.
It's how we act during such trying times that will dictate the outcome whether good or bad.
Putting yourself back in control of yourself and your emotions is the most crucial first step when trying to save a failing marriage.
Because everything you must do after can only be done if built upon this solid foundation of being able to control what you're about to say and do.
If you can't get control over how you act and react, then all the progress you make towards saving your marriage could be gone in an instant, from the latest uncontrollable outburst or low blow so to speak you may deliver during your next heated discussion over the marriage.