The fact that you were caught by surprise by the breakup, was not an accident. In order to be in control. your ex boyfriend had a plan and he has another plan already in place to reject any attempt you make to get him back. But you can change things around and gain the control by using some simple tactics that never fail.
This is not going to be as hard as you think. The act of recapturing your ex boyfriend's heart is to simply make him think you accept the breakup and you are moving on. This will catch him by surprise and hurt his pride and ego. He cannot exercise any control over you if you just walk away and start making a life without him.
Your ex boyfriend will wonder how you could seem so much in love with him and then give him up without a fight. This might not be easy, but it will be easier and more productive than chasing him and being rejected again. But, as long as he knows where you are and what you are doing, he is not going to miss you.
So, you will have to become a mystery to him. Drop off his radar and don't be seen at any of the places he hangs out. Make sure not even your friends know what you are doing because your ex boyfriend will be asking them about you. If they haven't been in contact with you, they can honestly tell him they don't know where you are or what you are doing.
That should make him wonder if you have a new boyfriend and he will feel like you have dumped him. Your ex boyfriend will begin to regret the breakup and realize how much he misses you. Add to that the feeling that he might have lost you for good and it will make your ex fall madly in love with you and you will now be in control.
When your boyfriend breaks up with you, it is important to realize that you can't force him to love you. The more you push, the more he will pull away, but when a man is denied something he will want it. Making yourself scarce and giving him the time and space to miss you are the acts that will make him come back to you without a struggle.